This is it. They are coming. Robots are taking over the world!
A dramatic introduction I concede, but now I have your attention, please, indulge me and let me explain. I didn't care that robots were helping to build cars and I tolerated it when robots started acting in films. BUT I will not sit quietly while they infiltrate the only sacred place left on earth (or at least the middle class part of it)... our shopping centres!
David Kiefaber has reported on adweek.com:
“Airport clothing-store outlet United Arrows built a custom window display in its Tokyo location in which Marionette Bots (half mannequin, half robot) were wired with Kinect technology to mimic the movements of anyone facing them. The bots were all wearing United Arrows fashions, of course. On the one hand, big ups to anyone making creative use of puppets these days. On the other hand, the only thing more off-putting than a department store mannequin is one that dances joylessly for the public's amusement. At least these things had the good fortune to exist in a polite culture. In an American airport, they would have been touching themselves inappropriately and humping the windows within 10 minutes.” It’s already hard enough to get a shop assistant to help you in a busy store. Will a robot crash when it is over worked? The idea of robot shop assistants is pretty far-fetched but as you can see from this video, it’s happening.
But its more than my emotions about the ‘sanctity’ of shopping that has me opposing this horrifying development. Let me be clear.
(Paint me like one of your french ladies)
Reasons when I will never let a robot help me shop:
1. Malfunctions. Wrong assumptions about what I want. If a robot was programed to look at my current Google searches to determine my style I shudder to imagine how I would be dressed. My top searchers currently are fishing, Taylor Swift and apple computers. These searchers are hardly representative of what I would prefer to wear (and just so you know, the fishing and T-swift search was for a present and the Apple computers were for a school project).
2. The awkward scripted conversations. Remember the pre-recorded voice call to an insurance company?Imagine having to contend with that when shopping.
Computer: What are you looking for today?
Me: I want a new bra.
Computer: What size are you?
Me: 10D. Computer: Please repeat that.
Me: (a little louder) 10D!
Computer: Sorry I didn't quite get that.
Me: (yelling) I AM A SIZE 10D!
3. Cold dead lifeless eyes. Just creepy.
4. And malfunctions. Imagine if the robot went crazy and started pinching me.
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